I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
