i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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