so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
