y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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