you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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