I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize