you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He has the fingertips of a God
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