I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize