Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
