Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
