Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
