hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
