apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
