my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
