On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
