He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
