i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will pee on everything he values.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
