Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize