all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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