I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
