Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
