4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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