Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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