Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
