Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Everything about him screamed your future.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
