his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I would fuck him just for his dog
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
