you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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