I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
