why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
