why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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