We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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