I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
