I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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