How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
