We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
