This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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