sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
