what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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