Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
