That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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