Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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