The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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