Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
