90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize