I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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