its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
