just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
