Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
