What did we do last night that was yellow?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
