I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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