is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
