Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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