I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
