Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize