Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
