they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
