Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
