we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
