I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
