No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
