I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
