I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
