She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
