i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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