that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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