Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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