he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
