She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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