please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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