i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
