Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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